Candy Land Adventure

Once upon a time there were two best friends who sailed the world together. Lily and Alice made a promise that when they both were 15 they would sail the world. The two girls loved the feel of the wind blowing through their long golden blond hair.

As they had just about finished sailing the Seven Seas they found an abandoned island and decided it was the perfect place to have lunch. They had a perfect view of the ocean, so they pulled their boat up to shore and gobbled up their lunch. As Lily and Alice were eating lunch they heard some unusual sounds. The two girls followed the sounds to find little gummy babies guarding two very large doors that had written on it “Magical kingdom.”

As the two young girls started to walk inside the two large doors the gummy babies came charging at the two best friends. Lily and Alice thought that the gummy bears were wanting a hug so Lily and Alice got to their knees and opened their arms. Before they knew it the gummy babies tackled them to the ground.

Lily remembered that she loved gummy babies and she whispered to Alice to eat them and that is just what they did. They gobbled up all the gummy babies. Since the gummy babies were nowhere to be seen the girls entered the two large doors to see a city made completely of candy. From that day on Lily and Alice visited this abandoned island every month.

By Deanna

Great use of paragraph’s Deanna. And I liked the way you introduced the island and how they stopped. Next time remember to use capital’s for names and to include more descriptive writing about your characters.