Celina's Writing

The Chosen Three

Michael, David and Lauren had already seen each other in the school, but they had never talked to each other. When they went to the same summer holiday camp, everyone started to talk easily and quickly became good friends.

They thought the camp would be fun and interesting but it was neither. Well it wasn’t until the day Michael found an old map. He showed it to David and Lauren, who thought that it could be a map that didn’t make sense, but they wouldn’t show it to anyone until they could study it.

They had the whole day filled up with boring classes, so they decided to meet in David’s room, at night.

“That’s not an ordinary map,” said Lauren, “I can feel that something really cool will happen to us.”

“It’s not very hard. We do nothing in here. But I have to agree with you,” said David. “I think this is a map with a path to a tomb!”

“How do you know?,” mumbled Michael almost falling asleep.

“Because before we came here I memorised some hieroglyphics. So, I can read some words.”

“We have to find  a book that explains that tomorrow,” said Lauren, biting her nails.

“Yes, tomorrow. That means I’m going to bed. Bye!”

Michael went to his room. When Lauren went to hers three minutes later, Michael was already asleep.

Over the next three days, they ‘borrowed’ all of the books that could explain something about hieroglyphics. The message was quite long, but Lauren wrote the meaning on a piece of paper:

- A tomb with no body and filled up with jewels and gold.

- Protected by spells.

She drew a star because it was written on the map that spells and curses wouldn’t attack ‘The Chosen Three.’ After they talked a bit the friends decided to try; it was near their rooms and they were three.

The next night David jotted a letter to their teachers (in Egyptian, so they would take longer to translate it). They picked up their backpacks and went to the tomb. After five minutes of walking, they arrived.

There was a circle on the ground.

“What? We were here (all of us) this morning and I am sure it wasn’t there!” said Lauren worriedly.

“What?” Michael was almost falling asleep again.

“That circle! Are you blind?”

“What circ...Oh! That circle!” Suddenly Michael woke up. “It means that just us three, alone, can see it. That’s so cool! What shall we do?”

“Go inside the circle?”

None of them had any other ideas, so they did it.

“Well, we tied. But obviously it doesn’t w..ah!”

The circle had opened and they fell in a secret chamber.Yes, there was a tomb. But it was closed.

“What were you saying,Michael?”

“Nothing. Now stop making fun of me and let’s open that tomb!”

But it was too heavy. They tried individually and all together, but it didn’t move. Actually, it seemed even more closed than before.

“That’s not our biggest problem. Look!”

Lauren and Michael looked to to the point David was pointing. The exit was too high. They couldn’t get out. The three friends tried all the ways they remembered. It didn’t work. By now,

no one remembered the reason why they were there. Finally, Michael lost hope and sat down near the tomb. It didn’t take long to Lauren and David to join him.

Lauren spotted a symbol, like a lightning bolt, on the top of the tomb, and she got up with a jump.

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Come here! Hurry up!”

On the top of the tomb there were three jewels. Each one had a name. Their names.

“Shall we pick them up?”

“I think so”

They did it. At the same time, Lauren, Michael and David returned after about an hour and a half. Now, instead of the circle, there was a piece of paper, where someone had written ‘You are The Chosen Three.’ With the paper there was another map.

The Three would had thought it was all imagination. But Lauren was still looking at her jewel in her hand, with her blond hair being blown by the wind. David put his jewel in his pocket and was staring the paper (three metres ahead of him) with his green eyes bigger than the normal. Michael threw his jewel away and had an expression that was hard to read and was always putting his hand in his black hair and then in his pocket.

They were The Chosen Three. But why?

Great writing Celine with some complex conversations. Excellent use of a range of complex punctuation. Your next learning step is to add more detail to your characters eg: what they look like, personality, what they wear. Well done.