Alex's Story

The Secret Gold Mine

Once upon a time there were two pirates. Their names were Not so Courageous Harriet and Angelina Grim. Not so Courageous Harriet was scared of nearly everything such as going on adventures, bugs and even shouting. Angelina Grim loved sword fighting and she practiced

every day. Also they loved going to the tavern (a bar).

One day Not so Courageous Harriet found a map in the tavern. It was a map to a gold mine.

Not so Courageous Harriet was scared to go find the gold mine. She asked Angelina Grim, “Can you come with me to find the gold mine?” Angelina Grim said, “Yes, we’re going to become rich!”

So they went looking for the gold mine. Angelina Grim kept getting annoyed by Not so Courageous Harriet because she kept moaning “what if we die!” But Angelina Grim wanted to be rich. She was poor after all. She wouldn’t let anything stand in her way.

When Angelina Grim and Not so Courageous Harriet got to the mine there was a lot of gold. They got their pickaxes out and started mining. When they started mining they started hearing weird noises. But they kept on mining.

Ghosts started coming out. They both got creeped out especially Not so Courageous Harriet. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Angelina Grim tried fighting the ghosts with her sword but her sword went straight through the ghosts bodies. They got scared but Not so Courageous Harriet realised the ghosts were only protecting the gold.

Then Not so Courageous Harriet shouted, “Stop, with your permission can we mine the gold?” The leader of the ghosts said, “Yes, you may all we wanted was for you to ask!”

After this Not so Courageous Harriet conquered one of her fears. Angelina Grim and Not so Courageous Harriet became rich. They spent most of their money on............ beer.

Great writing Alex and I like the way you are trying to use paragraphs. Your next learning steps are to use punctuation such as ? & “” corecctly as well as to add more detail to your character descriptions eg what they look like or where they are from etc.  Mr B.