Sammi's Narrative

The Princess that turn the Queen into a Bear.

By Sammi Lu

Once upon a time there was a kingdom far, far away. In the Kingdom there was a Princess, King and a Queen. The Princess is adventurous. She didn’t care how dangerous it was she just needed her bow and arrow and trusty companion her black horse. The Princess had long, bushy, red hair that swayed in the wind. The King is big and muscular. He will protect his family no matter what. The king had red bushy hair and a big black beard. The Queen is more ladylike than her daughter, she has long beautiful brown hair.

One day the Queen decided to stitch a big family portrait on a big piece of brown cloth the picture had the Princess, King and herself in it.

When the Princess turned sixteen the Queen decided to teach the Princess how to act like a Princess.

“ But I am a Princess” said the Princess.

“ You don't act like a Princess” said the Queen. “ From this day on I will teach you how to be a proper Princess” said the Queen.

The next day in the morning the Queen asked one of the kingdoms maid, “Go and wake up the Princess and tell her to come in the dining room,” said the Queen.

“ Ok your majesty,” said the maid.

The maid walked up to the Princess’ room and knocked on the door. The Princess didn’t reply so she knocked on the door again and the Princess didn’t reply again. The maid was worried that the Princess wasn’t in her room so she slammed the door open and the Princess got a fright.

“ What was that for?” said the Princess.

“Well you didn’t answer me when I was knocking so I thought you weren’t in your room,” said the maid. “Quickly get dressed brush your teeth and meet your mother in the dining room,” said the maid.

“Fine,” said the Princess.

The Princess woke up, got dressed and brushed her teeth. When the Princess was walking to the dining room she was quite hungry. When the Princess saw the food on the table she quickly sat down on a chair. “Lets eat Mother I am hungry,” said the Princess.

“Ok,” said the Queen.

After breakfast they went to the study room.

“Ok, we are going to start the Princess fix up,” said the Queen.

“ The Princess fix up? ”said the Princess.

“ Um.... yeah,” said the Queen.

*1 month later*

One day the Princess got frustrated with the Queen because she always said do this and do that. That day the Princess run away with black horse. They rode and rode until black horse stopped so the Princess got flung forward.

“ What was that for,” said the Princess while she cried.

For some reason black horse was scared. There was a little house. In the little house there was a little old Lady. The Princess knew the old lady was a witch so she went in the old ladies’  house. She wanted a potion that would make her mother disappear because the princess was so angry and frustrated with the Queen she never wanted to she her again. When the Princess went into the house the Witch wasn’t in the house. So the Princess looked around and around she couldn't find her. When the Princess looked around there was writing on the wall. It said ‘hello my name is Martha’

“Martha?” the princess called and a magic trapdoor opened from the floor. Martha popped up, “Yessss darling,” she said in a cranky voice.

“I Want a potion that would make my Mother disappear,” said the Princess.

“My potion making is over,” said Martha.

“I will give you my necklace,” said the Princess.

“Come closer with your necklace,” said Martha. The Princess went closer to Martha. “Where did you get this necklace? “said Martha.

“My Mother gave it to Me” said the Princess.

“Fine I will make a potion for you but you need to give me your necklace” said Martha.

“Ok,” said the Princess.

Martha clapped her hands and a big pot came up from the floor. She said magic words. Then a potion appeared in Martha’s hands. “Now listen carefully when you want to use the potion add water in the potion then it will activate. Wait for 6 seconds. If you want to reverse the spell just say oh dear oh dear I want her back I have made a mistake I want her back, but you will have to wait for two days for the spell to reverse,” said Martha.

“Yes I will” said the Princess.

The Princess took the potion off Martha went out of the house got on black horse and rode to the kingdom. Then went in the kingdom. Then she went in the kitchen got a cup poured the water half way then poured the potion and waited for 6 seconds. Then the cup turned into an apple. The Princess walked up to the Queen’s room and knocked on the door.

“ Come in,” said the Queen.

The Princess went in and give the Queen the apple.

“What is this for?” said the Queen.

“It’s to say I am sorry and plus I know you like apples,” said the Princess.

The Queen took the apple got a bite. But afterwards the Queen didn’t feel well so she decided to lay down for awhile. When the Queen was laying down she felt a tingle so she got up but when she got up she was turning into a bear. The Princess was frightened she didn’t know what to do. The Queen saw the Princess’ frightened face and she quickly ran to the mirror. Just then the Princess remembered the reverse spell.

“ Mother Mother we need to wait for two days for the spell to reverse,” said the Princess.

* Two days later *

In the two days the Princess and the Queen bonded. They went fishing and swimming together in the past two days. It was the second day the Princess and the Queen went to this lovely patch of flowers. They decided to say the reverse spell here.

“Oh dear oh dear I want her back I have made a mistake I want her back,” said the Princess.

Then there was a sparkle, a flash and a wiz then the Queen started to turn back into a human.

“It worked it worked! “said the Princess.

“I’m, I’m back as a human “ said the Queen happily.

They dance with joy all afternoon. The Princess learned her lesson. They went back as a happy family and they all lived happily ever after.

The End    

Great writing Sammi. Nice vocabulary and good use of direct speech. Your NLS are to: use speech marks correctly, add more detail to your character descriptions and to organise your paragraphs correctly.